Xbox 720: Real or Not?- Article Draft

[KSI Voodoo 12]

Xbox 720: Real or Not?

Rumors of the release of a next-gen console have been buzzing around for the past few years. Lately we have heard of a project involving Microsoft Corporation. The Xbox 720 has been keep secret for sometime now; however, signs of its unveiling have come to light. In 2010 a document, which in 2011 became a full blown schematics, disclosed that Microsoft has been trying to take video games from it's player's television and place it into his/her vicinity. Two years ago at E3, they showed first signs of this by introducing the first motion-sensor gaming technology called “kinectâ€; it revolutionized the way we look at gaming. Recently Microsoft had this document patented. The patent states: “An immersive display environment is provided to a human user by projecting a peripheral image onto environmental surfaces surrounding the user.†This basically means that your playing space will become part of the game. The Xbox will be producing the primary image on your television while producing the secondary images on your wall. The 720 sounds amazing by itself, but Microsoft has more to add. Some of the accessories will be: a depth camera that generates depth information, a newer version of the kinect system, and glasses similar to 3D glasses that will allow the user to change the character's point of view. It sounds far-fetched, but the rumored release date is sometime next year. Will this technological revolution come true or will it be another rumor on the wind? Either way it gives gamers like us something to look forward to this coming year. The real question is: Are we, the gamers, ready for such a ground-breaking ordeal?

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Give some edits. I honestly think that this will be good because everybody is anticipating this and it will answer some questions people might have. Thanks

[KSI Dr Creamy 7 7]

Here are some light edits, it seems like you need a few structural changes as well to help the piece flow better but that is a weak point for me as well so I wont dabble in it

Rumors of the release of a next-gen console have been buzzing around for the past few years. Lately we have heard of a project involving Microsoft Corporation. The Xbox 720 has been keep secret for some time now; however, signs of its unveiling have come to light. In 2010 a document, which in 2011 became a full blown schematic, disclosed that Microsoft has been trying to take video games from its player's television and place it into their vicinity. Two years ago at E3, they showed first signs of this by introducing the first motion-sensor gaming technology called Kinect and revolutionized the way we look at gaming. Recently, Microsoft added a patent to the document which states: “An immersive display environment is provided to a human user by projecting a peripheral image onto environmental surfaces surrounding the user.†This basically means that your playing space will become part of the game. The Xbox will be producing the primary image on your television while producing the secondary images on your wall. The 720 sounds amazing by itself, but Microsoft has more to add. Some of the accessories will be: a depth camera that generates depth information, a newer version of the kinect system, and glasses similar to 3D glasses that will allow the user to change the character's point of view. It sounds far-fetched, but the rumored release date is sometime next year. Will this technological revolution come true or will it be another rumor on the wind? Either way it gives gamers like us something to look forward to this coming year. The real question is: Are we, the gamers, ready for such a ground-breaking ordeal?

[Sungazer's Wife 6]

WritePoint assisted me. I'm sure my two little shredders will come by sometime soon to assist more.

Xbox 720: Real or Not?

Rumors of the release of a next-gen console have [has] been buzzing around for the past few years. Lately [,] we have heard of a project involving Microsoft Corporation. [; the Xbox 720.] The Xbox 720 [it] has been keep secret for sometime now; however, signs of its unveiling have come to light. In 2010 a document, which in 2011 became a full blown schematics, disclosed that Microsoft has been trying to take video games from it's player's television and place it into his/her [This awkward construction is a shortcut appropriate in a legal document, but avoid using it in articles. Write it out: his or her] vicinity. Two years ago [beware of making time-stamps. You cannot predict when this will be read, so "X time ago" is meaningless. Be more specific, e.g., They opened the business in January 2009, etc.] at E3, they showed first signs of this by introducing the first motion-sensor gaming technology called “kinect†[Kinect] ; it revolutionized the way we look at gaming. Recently [,] Microsoft had this document patented. The patent states: “An immersive display environment is provided to a human user by projecting a peripheral image onto environmental surfaces surrounding the user.†[Can you maybe cite this source? People might want to look at the rest of the patent.] This basically means that your playing space will become part of the game. The Xbox will be producing the primary image on your television while producing the secondary images on your wall. The 720 sounds amazing by itself, but Microsoft has [a lot] more to add [, including:] Some of the accessories will be: a depth camera that generates depth information, a newer version of the kinect [Kinect] system, and glasses similar to 3D glasses that will allow the user to change the character's point of view. It sounds far-fetched, but the rumored release date is sometime next year. Will this technological revolution come true or will it be another rumor on the wind? Either way [,] it gives gamers like us something to look forward to this coming year. The real question is: Are we, the gamers, ready for such a ground-breaking [groundbreaking] ordeal?

[Badfur 13]

Creamy, I don't see any change in what you put up, if you make an edit, put it in bold, or make some mark where it is easier to distinguish what the edit it.

I'll be reviewing these later today.

[KSI twahl 7 2]

Also, just because the subject is good, doesn't make the article good. Things that will satisfy the reader: REAL, accurate information, juicy details that people have been asking for long periods of time, all from a trusted source. If you pick some random site or Wikipedia, it may not be true. So go back and ask yourself those questions and maybe a few more.

[Sungazer's Wife 6]

This was his intial work sample... He can write something else for official publishment if people feel like its too old... Or use this as his first set of training wheels.

[KSI Voodoo 12]

Xbox 720: Real or Not?

Rumors of the release of a next-gen console has been buzzing around for the past few years. Lately, we have heard of a project involving Microsoft Corporation; the Xbox 720. It has been kept secret for sometime now; however, signs of its unveiling have come to light. In 2010 a document, which in 2011 became a full blown schematic, disclosed that Microsoft has been trying to take video games from it's player's television and place it into his or her vicinity. At the 2010 E3, they showed first signs of this by introducing the first motion-sensor gaming technology called “Kinect†and revolutionized the way we look at gaming. Recently, Microsoft had this document patented which states: “An immersive display environment is provided to a human user by projecting a peripheral image onto environmental surfaces surrounding the user.†This basically means that your playing space will become part of the game. The Xbox will be producing the primary image on your television while producing the secondary images on your wall. The 720 sounds amazing by itself, but Microsoft has a lot more to add, including: a depth camera, a newer version of the Kinect system, and glasses similar to 3D glasses that will allow the user to change the character's point of view. It sounds far-fetched, but the rumored release date is sometime next year. Will this technological revolution come true or will it be another rumor on the wind? Either way it gives gamers like us something to look forward to this coming year. The real question is: Are we, the gamers, ready for such a groundbreaking ordeal?

Source:http://www.patentlyapple.com/patently-apple/2012/09/microsoft-envisions-where-gaming-is-going-and-its-wild.html

[Sungazer's Wife 6]

Only thing I can see is in the sentence, "Rumors of the release of a next-gen console has been buzzing around for the past few years." Has should be have.

"Rumors of the release of a next-gen console have been buzzing around for the past few years."

Have you signed up for the homepage: www.ksiglobal.org yet? Also, attempt at following these instructions: http://www.ksiforums...-members-abide/ If you can't as well as the others, please tell me what your username on the front page is so I can ask Ace to change your permissions.

[Badfur 13]

Xbox 720: Real or Not?

Rumors of the release of a next-gen console has been buzzing around for the past few years. Lately, we have heard of a project involving Microsoft Corporation; the Xbox 720. It has been kept secret for sometime now; however, signs of its unveiling have come to light. [Consider changing this sentence. A semi-colon is used to combine two separate sentences. A change in phrasing seems appropriate here.] In 2010 a document, which in 2011 became a full blown schematic, disclosed that Microsoft has been trying to take video games from it's [it's means it is, the proper term is 'its' here] player's television and place it into his or her vicinity. At the 2010 E3, they showed first signs of this by introducing the first motion-sensor gaming technology called “Kinect†and revolutionized the way we look at gaming. Recently, Microsoft had this document patented which states: “An immersive display environment is provided to a human user by projecting a peripheral image onto environmental surfaces surrounding the user.†This basically means that your playing space will become part of the game. The Xbox will be producing the primary image on your television while producing the secondary images on your wall. The 720 sounds amazing by itself, but Microsoft has a lot more to add, including: a depth camera, a newer version of the Kinect system, and glasses similar to 3D glasses [That's repetitive and unneeded, alternatively, remove the first 'glasses' and keep the strike-through part.] that will allow the user to change the character's point of view. It sounds far-fetched, but the rumored release date is sometime next year. Will this technological revolution come true or will it be another rumor on the wind? Either way it gives gamers like us something to look forward to this coming year. The real question is: Are we, the gamers, ready for such a groundbreaking ordeal?

[KSI Voodoo 12]

Xbox 720: Real or Not?

Rumors of a next-gen console have been buzzing around for the past few years. Lately, we have heard of a project involving Microsoft Corporation; the Xbox 720. It has been kept secret for sometime, but signs of its unveiling have recently come to light. In 2010 a document, which in 2011 became a full blown schematic, disclosed that Microsoft has been trying to take video games from its player's television and place it into his or her vicinity. At the 2010 E3, they showed first signs of this by introducing the first motion-sensor gaming technology called “Kinect†and revolutionized the way we look at gaming. Recently, Microsoft had this document patented which states: “An immersive display environment is provided to a human user by projecting a peripheral image onto environmental surfaces surrounding the user.†This basically means that your playing space will become part of the game. The Xbox will be producing the primary image on your television while producing the secondary images on your wall. The 720 sounds amazing by itself, but Microsoft has a lot more to add, including: a depth camera, a newer version of the Kinect system, and glasses similar to 3D that will allow the user to change the character's point of view. It sounds far-fetched, but the rumored release date is sometime next year. Will this technological revolution come true or will it be another rumor on the wind? Either way it gives gamers like us something to look forward to this coming year. The real question is: Are we, the gamers, ready for such a groundbreaking ordeal?

Source:http://www.patentlyapple.com/patently-apple/2012/09/microsoft-envisions-where-gaming-is-going-and-its-wild.html

[Badfur 13]

Good enough really. I'm cool with it, unless someone else has edits that they feel need mentioning...

[KSI twahl 7 2]

looks fine...